“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Titus 2:3-5
While I am not quite in the category of “older women”, learning the Titus 2 model is something I fervently seek out. The Lord is preparing me, and maturing me in many areas (and will continue to do so throughout my life) that will be of service to the younger women in my life.
- In character
- In gaining a deeper understanding of the Word
- In serving others
- In ministry
With the development in these areas, the Lord is providing me with the tools to teach and encourage younger women. I can start practicing this model now even, within my home with my daughters, with women who are younger than me, offering new wives encouragement and sharing the wisdom I have learned during the time I have been a wife.
What is a Mentor?
Being a mentor does not mean you have to be an “older woman” in order to properly mentor.
You may have gone through a very specific trial, and learned from it. Taking that situation, and sharing with another who may be going through something similar – is mentorship.
Sharing what the Lord taught you, your trials, your struggles, and your “now” with others who have yet to walk down a path you are familiar with, or are currently walking down a path you have just walked, is mentorship.
Well, its part of mentorship. There is a bit more to it.
The dictionary defines mentorship as basically a guide:
“Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing as hoc help. It’s about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialogue, and challenge.” (source: Google)
Mentorship isn’t’t about just telling someone “hey, I went through that too! It’s rough, but the Lord will see you through it. I’ll be praying for you!”, and then just going on about your way.
Mentorship involves intentional, heart entwining involvement with that person. Your intent should be to speak to their hearts and open your heart to them. And the only way this can be done, is to have a meaningful and purposeful relationship with them.
Christian Mentorship includes guiding that person’s heart towards Christ, and towards the Word.
Praying WITH them, and FOR them.
You must be willing to walk with that person and help them to hear what the Lord is trying to teach them.
4 ways to help you prepare yourself to becoming a better mentor
- Read and study the Bible
- Pray over the word, and ask the Lord for wisdom
“Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law” ~Psalm 119:18
- Seek out the wisdom of someone who is wiser than you
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” ~ Proverbs 13:20
- Learn to listen
There is this old saying: “The fool speaks, the wise man listens”.
We need to learn how to listen, before we can offer any encouragement. And not just that, but when someone feels like you are listening to them, they feel encouraged and hopeful that someone is going to help them make sense out of what is going on in their lives.
It’s the difference between telling a story without interruptions, and telling a story while someone is trying to guess the next line you’re going to say. With the latter, it is likely that you will feel discouraged and just lose interest in finishing what you are trying to say.
I’m a recovering interrupter. My husband tends to be long-winded when he speaks, and it forces me to be still and listen to what he has to say. All of his siblings are the same, it’s like some gene they all inherited. It was so hard to learn how to patiently listen to each and every word he had to say when we were talking about something significantly important.
The Lord has recently shown me that he used those moments to teach me how to be a better listener. It’s helped me when speaking with others. I make sure to not come off as if I am rushing them to spit out their words. I want them to feel comfortable, and unhurried talking to me.