When True Love Didn’t Wait {Struggling with Sexual Sin}

By Blair Allen, Contributing Writer

If you have been a Christian for more than a decade you will remember the huge “True Love Waits” campaign during the 1990’s.  The basic premise was  if you were truly in love that you would wait until marriage to have sex.  I remember the sermons being heavy on the “wait to have sex” but light on the “purity is good because…”.

What I heard was, God wants you to not have sex.  That is the rule.  Do not break the rule.  Unfortunately, I was a seriously rebellious teenager.  I tried being “good” but when that did not give me the results I wanted (freedom to do as I pleased, when it pleased me), I jumped ship.  My motto was “rules were meant to be broken”.

When True Love Didn't Wait ~ Struggling with Sexual Sin ~ ABiblicalMarriage

Image courtesy of [photostock] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Maybe you were that same kind of teen.  Perhaps you did not receive Biblical teaching before you were married in the area of sex and marriage.  Maybe you weren’t saved until after marriage and had no clue there was another way to do things.  Does that mean you can never have the kind of marriage that God intended for you to have?  Are you doomed to Second Class Christian relationship status?  Let us see what the scriptures say.

Romans 3:23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.


We have all sinned in one way or another.

Ezekiel 18:30-32“Repent! And turn from all your transgressions, so iniquity will not be your ruin.  Cast away from you all your transgressions, by which you have transgressed; and get a new heart and a new spirit. For why will you die.  For I have no pleasure in the death of him who dies,” says the Lord GOD.  “Therefore turn [from you evil ways] and live!”


1 John 1:7-9 But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.  If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.


God does not want you to waller in your sin.  (Waller is a southern term for roll around lazily or gloomily.)  He wants to forgive you for your sins and help you live a life opposite from your old life so that you may REALLY live!


Revelation 3:19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.


With all your heart pursue God.  Seek His ways.  Know that you will still have to pay the consequences of your previous actions but that God loves you and will mold you into a better person through the discipline you incurred.

Romans 8:1So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.


The ultimate purpose of marriage is to bring God glory.  Marriage does this by reflecting the beautiful love between Christ and His church.  Do not live in such bondage over your previous (forgiven and repented for) sexual sin that you snuff out the light that God desires shine to through your marriage.  2 Corinthians 5:17 says that you are a new creature, your old self is gone and your new self has begun.  That goes for your marriage too!


  1. My husband and I were, by God’s grace, virgin when we got married. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t struggle! I have had to learn that when we confess our sins, God completely, totally wipes away all those sins! We no longer have to beat ourselves up over them! What is in the past is done, and if God has said he has removed our sins from us, then he has done it, and WE don’t need to be be bringing them back.

    Thank you for this message!

  2. Thank you so much for this reminder. Sometimes I just feel so unworthy and stuck in my past, but this is so encouraging and uplifting. Thanks!

  3. Thank you! Beautiful reminder. I was not a believer when I met my husband, and I have struggled with my more promiscuous past, but thankfully our Lord forgives and we are made new in him. :) And thankfully my husband still gave me a chance despite knowing my upbringing. :)

  4. Just hopped on over from the Domestically Divine linky. I’m not a Christian, but If there’s one thing I want to pass on to my children it is to WAIT. Inappropriate sexual behaviour is so “easy” and “normal” and it is a spiral that can quickly get out of control and be so damaging. Best wishes from the UK!

  5. Sorry to correct here, but the verb above should be WALLOW. Waller is not a southern term for rolling around wallow is…maybe that’s just the way you have been hearing it pronounced?

  6. You are correct that wallow is the correct verb. A verb that is not southern in origin at all. Although an urban dictionary search will show that many people use the word waller interchangeably. I suppose it depends on just what part of the south (or country) one is from as to whether they wallow or waller. :)
    Thanks for reading and commenting!

  7. Thank you for adding to the discussion Alison! You are absolutely right that one thing leads to another, it does so very quickly and not without consequence.

  8. I have been without intercourse for nearly 17 years. I miss it. I want to know that I am loved though and be married. The man that I loved could not wait and he was with someone else. This has happened to me REPEATEDLY over the years. I have been waiting not going out trying to sleep with a man, although I could, why won’t a God answer me? I have yielded to His Holy Spirit to change things in me to be ready, but I am still alone, struggling with sexual thoughts at times. It’s not easy to live this way. I hope I don’t give up.

  9. P.S., I pray The Lord would come through with an answer for a Christian husband. I pray He shows me and those who know me, the blessing in my life for waiting,…………Lord please let me meet my man soon……..I can’t be perfect so I pray You will answer anyway……