Having three children there are not long periods of time we really get to spend together without a request from one of the little ones. It is the short moments of, with coffee in hand, that we cherish the most.
When you have a family, the time you have to spend with each other (regardless of amount) can be used to strengthen each other. Even if it’s just a laugh that helps relieve a long day’s work, being at home or otherwise. It’s a perfect time to encourage one another, pray for one another, and take a mental note on what we should be praying about for the other throughout the day or week.
It’s crucial to take time out, to spend with each other. Just like you did when you were dating. Most of us weren’t just sitting around doing nothing, when we weren’t with our boyfriend/girlfriend. Life was busy, as it always is for most everyone. But time was made, it was purposefully set aside to spend quality time together.
After marriage, it can be hard to keep that same train of thought and intentionality. But it is just as significant after marriage, as it was before marriage – to make time. Even if it is just going out for a Starbucks, or sitting on the balcony sipping of your favorite coffee (or tea), while chitchatting with your spouse.
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church…”
Christ pursued His people. He sought them out because He loved them. Husbands, love your wife this way. Seek her out, pursue her, and love her as Christ loved the church. Be intentional.
Also for fathers and husbands, taking the time to relieve your wife from taking care of the home you get to enjoy, is invaluable. This can (and will) strengthen your relationship in a lot of ways. Not only does your wife have some time to her own to wind down from the day but you have the chance to be a part of your children’s day as well. More often than not her day was a lot longer than your own. We all love our children but, they are a lot of work to keep safe and healthy.
Galatians 5:13 “For you were called to freedom, brother. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another”
Another benefit of these moments is gaining understanding. We all like to think we understand our spouse perfectly. The truth is there is a lot that we cannot understand without taking the time and patience to learn about our spouse. This is one of the weakest points in marriages.
Proverbs 18:2 “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding”
Understanding ones spouse is what can strengthen our relationship with God, as a couple. It grows you closer to one another, creates opportunities for encouragement, and for intentional prayer for one another.
Proverbs 20:5 “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
So even if you don’t have a night to go out on a date, if family doesn’t live close enough to relieve you both for the night – take advantage of any moment you can, even if it’s just a short coffee break.