So, You Want a BIBLICAL Marriage? {Part 1}

By Sarah Logan, Contributing Writer

Photo by Marta Starbucks ♣

Photo by Marta Starbucks ♣

If you’re reading this it is probable that you are interested in fashioning your expectations, ambitions, and hopes for marriage after God’s Holy Word, the Bible. I applaud you if that is the case! I would have it no other way! But what might a marriage look like where the couple are seeking to implement the teachings of Scripture? Also, might it be worthwhile to look at marriages throughout Scripture and see what God carried them through? I will only highlight a few – but hopefully it will give you a springboard to discover what else God may have for you to learn from His Word regarding marriage and especially how you may need to correct your thinking as He guides you into truth.

Before I was married I gave a lot of thought to Eastern romance/marriage ideals and how the West approaches this issue. Growing up in Asia I was fascinated with the historic practice of arranged marriages. Interestingly, we in the West often think this is a horrible approach to one of life’s most important decisions. We think being swept off our feet in a whirlwind of romance is better.

My point here is that we may have our curiosity piqued when we look at our culture as a whole and wonder if some of our ideals are contributing to the erosion of healthy marriages and families. What does this have to do with Biblical marriages? Looking at marriages in the Bible I realize marriage looked entirely different then than it does for us today. Even if our marriages haven’t been arranged we can apply some of the same principles to how we view marriage. Ultimately, if we are married, then we can assume our marriage HAS been arranged – because God has joined us, and we can trust He wants us to stay that way (barring extreme circumstances).

So, you want a Biblical Marriage?

Image courtesy of [David Castillo Dominici] /

Learning from the Bible

Let’s look at Adam and Eve – how much choice did Adam have in who his spouse would be!? I know it sounds ridiculous – but don’t you think it made life together just a bit more bearable because they absolutely HAD to work out their differences (or else where would the human race be?!)

The hall of faith testifies to these people who looked beyond their momentary troubles and invested their hopes in eternity rather than in the daily pleasures of having their wants catered to and their emotional needs coddled by another person. 1st Peter commends Sarah who put her hope in God. Can you imagine what putting our hope in God might do for our marriages – rather than hoping in our spouse?!

Let’s look at Isaac who trusted God to provide the spouse he would need – even though he had never met her! What about her act of faith in responding to the call to be a wife to a man she had never met? Could this possibly inspire us to faithfully respond to the call we’ve been given in our marriages to give up our entire ‘life as we know it’ in order to unite with someone who we have the privilege of knowing and even having ongoing relational interaction with? When we compare some of the difficulties people in the Bible faced to what we face, I hate to point out, but we don’t really have a leg to stand on. There IS no comparison.

It is all too easy to get caught up in complaining about how our spouse might be – and even in our own thoughts – to dwell on how we want him to change. Don’t allow yourself this room – it will only lead to dead weight on the life of your marriage. Look at Abigail and her dismal husband Nabal. She wisely, courageously navigated the course of life with him. Look at Deborah and her lack-leadership style husband. She picked up the slack and acted in spite of him. God calls us to wisdom – to seek Him first and to act in our marriages with great care.

I believe the verse, “When the people complained the Lord was displeased” applies as much to marriage as it did to the children of Israel {Numbers 11:1}.

(Side note: I do believe we can honestly cry out to God with our grievances, hurts and burdens. This is often exemplified in the Psalms – appropriately. He knows our frame – He remembers we are but dust! – Ps 139 – But this is different than complaining. God is displeased when we complain as if to say, ‘I deserve better.’)

Return tomorrow for Part 2!


  1. Marion Baldwin says:

    Sarah, I think you’ve mixed up Jacob and Isaac. Jacob knew Rachel, remember? He worked 14 years to get her. Isaac was the one who didn’t know his wife until the servant brought her home to him.

  2. Wow Marion – sharp reading! Thanks for spotting this! I DID mean Isaac! Thanks for pointing it out – it is duly noted and changed. A good reminder to carefully read through and be accurate in my Bible references.


  1. […] By Sarah Logan, Contributing Writer, read Part 1. […]

  2. Grace Notes says:

    […] So, you want a Biblical marriage? […]