By Tammy Skipper, Contributing Writer
When we start reading, writing, and discussing the picture of A Biblical Marriage our reality may have a hard time meeting our expectations. This can be especially discouraging when your spouse does not hold the same spiritual beliefs. We throw around the term ‘unequally yoked’ as if it clearly defines the problem and the solution; but often the solution eludes us.
I gained freedom when I realized that it was not my job to change my spouse.
My husband and I were in a relationship for years before he put his trust in Jesus. After he made that decision, we attended service almost every week. However, it was another twelve years before I allowed my husband to lead in the decisions of faith in our home. During all that time, I had a list of reasons why he was not spiritual enough to be the one making those choices.
- He didn’t read his Bible every day.
- He didn’t attend the men’s breakfast every month.
- He didn’t want to give to other charities or serve in homeless shelters.
- He didn’t pray with me or lead our children in devotions.
Luke 6:42 says, “How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
I began serving my husband. I looked to the scripture to see what God had called me to do for my husband.
- God wanted me to submit to the leadership so I waited for my husband to choose our new church after moving.
- God wanted me to quit demanding my husband attend certain church services or functions as if he were my child.
- God wanted me to listen to my husband’s thoughts on scripture and sermons even if they were in opposition to mine.
- God wanted me to look to Christ for my example, not to compare myself to my husband.
Ultimately, comparison will only weaken your marriage, whether your spouse is a believer or not. Live to be more like Christ by serving others without condemnation, starting with your spouse.
For further reading: start with Ephesians 5, Galatians 5:22-23, John 8:1-11, and I Peter 3.
What can you do today to serve your spouse right where he is?