The habit of reconnecting with your spouse

By David & Angie Benjamin, Contributing Writers

We’re busy, always busy. Always endless to-do lists.

House, Kids, Career…but my spouse? Good question. How often do we allow busyness of life to take over our marriage? You might think:  my marriage is ok. We are fine. You might, but are you as close and crazily in love as you were when you first got married?

reconnect with your spouse

We’ve been there, moments in which the routine, busyness and tiredness just leave us without “enough” time to re-connect.

So we came up with some ideas (inexpensive ones) to help you to re-connect with your spouse on a regular basis.

Spend lots of time dreaming together, and most importantly praying together.

There is something that will definitely make you feel closer to your spouse about merging our hopes and dreams for the future with someone else’s. And working toward the realization of shared dreams contributes dramatically to the level of romance in marriage.

Matthew 18:19 – Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

Take time to demonstrate physical affection.

Obviously, sex is an important component of any married couple’s romantic relationship. But there is so much more to physical affection than sex itself. Do you and your spouse regularly hug, hold hands, smooch, snuggle, and walk arm in arm?

Frequently offer foot massages, shoulder massages, and full-body massages to your spouse; this will definitely make you feel closer.

Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled.

Laugh, a lot!

Laughing together creates such a strong bond. When you and your spouse find humor in the same thing, you are fused together at that moment. Relive funny events from your lives, swap stories, watch wacky movies together — whatever makes you laugh, do it often.

Psalms 126:2 – Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them.

Be open and clear to express your feelings: Regularly communicate your mutual significance to each other.

Look for every opportunity to tell your spouse, “You are the most important person in my life.”

You can do this verbally, through writing, or through acts of kindness and service. This can be something small like bringing home your spouse’s favorite ice cream or buying them a book with a touching inscription inside.  These small gestures assure your spouse that they are in your thoughts when apart, and this draws you closer to each other.

Ephesians 5:33 ESV – However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:25 ESV – Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Plan a date

At least once a week, if this is not possible at least one a month and eat by candlelight.  It doesn’t have to be expensive; actually you don’t even have to go out! It doesn’t matter if it’s a Domino’s pizza or a five-course gourmet meal, candles can present an atmosphere that is amazingly favorable to romance.  Have you ever eaten pizza by candlelight?  Try it!  You’ll be surprised at how romantic it really is!

Pay attention when your spouse mentions things he or she likes.

Or expresses interest in something that could make a good gift, such as a new CD, a book, or theater, concert, sports tickets.

Be on the lookout for ideas for birthday, holiday, and anniversary gifts, plus “no reason” surprise gifts. It’s very flattering to know that someone really tried to find a gift that was just what you wanted.

As you can see there are plenty of ways to reconnect and get back on track in intimacy (not only physical). Let’s water the plant of love everyday (as we say in Mexico lol).

What do you do when you need to reconnect with your spouse?