Our Marriage Comes First

By Michael & Marlene Griffith, Contributing Writers

In today’s society, the idea of putting kids second to your marriage, is greatly frowned upon. Families somehow got into the practice of making their children the first priority of the home, even a priority above their marriage.

Image courtesy of [contributor name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [Rosen Georgiev] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How often do we hear these phrases?:

“My kid is the most important thing in my life”

“My kid is my strength”

“My kid is the reason I work so hard”

“I need to work harder so my kids can have _____”

“My kid gives me my strength”

“If it weren’t for my kid, I wouldn’t be able to make it through life”

Are we the only ones that have heard parents say these things?

We aren’t surprised though, especially in today’s world. Everything about the family is in glorification of our children. You do xyz for your kids sake. You work hard and are responsible to not only provide for your children, but to set a good example for them.

When you budget out for Christmas, it’s the kids gifts that are taken into consideration first. When it’s Valentine’s Day, you rush out and get your littles something cute, before you even think of what you’re going to do for your spouse. When it’s dinner time, you think “what would the little one like?”, and don’t even think “what would my husband/wife like?”.

To be clear: In no way whatsoever are we implying our children are not important. They should not be left to fend for themselves, nor ignored.

As a marriage, you need to make your relationship the most important of the home. Your marriage should be the priority.

It is common to loose track of priorities when babies come. Kids require so much of us as parents, that we almost forget that we have another relationship in the home to keep up with – the one with our spouse. And that relationship is THE most important relationship between people, in your home. First God, then your marriage, and then your children. This is tough to swallow for a lot. But, one of the best things you can do for your children is to have a strong and loving marriage with your spouse.

Strong Marriage = strong foundation= strong family = strong home

Effort. You have to make an effort. It’s not something that will come easily. But you have to put time into your marriage to build and  maintain a solid foundation for your home.


  1. There was a time in life that I wouldn’t have understood this, but after divorce, I totally do. Thank you for the reminder.

  2. This is a funny concept. One I have questioned over the course if my married life.
    As I read the word of God I never read that spouses are our priority nor do I read about priorities at all but when I read women’s teaching and go to church I am told we have priorities and to put our spouse first.
    The word of God says to love God with everything and love your neighbour as yourself. The challenge set by Jesus in the Good Samaritan says the neighbour is the man who took pity and helped him. I would suggest loving the person God places before you is your neighbour not your spouse. Your spouse is likely to be set before you, often and you have a duty to love him and help him. I do not deny that.
    Lets face another fact.. Not every marriage is perfect, near perfect, righteous or even good.. The children The Lord placed in their care to train and raise is often the cornerstone that holds families together during difficult times – because you do want better for them, even if that means going through a refining process with The Lord and coming out the other side in His Image.
    No, I think we need to ask The Lord what He wants us to do in the season we are in over following a set of man-made ideals based in perfection. We call it being led by the spirit, being in His will and doing His will.

  3. I totally agree with you. We have been married 20 years, have three small children and make date nights a priority. When the children are grown, you are left with each other.