By Tammy Skipper, Contributing Writer
Do you believe marriage is under attack? Policies and changing public opinion can quickly entangle us in endless arguments over what is causes marriages to fail. After watching dozens of friends go through separations and divorce, I can honestly say I see a common thread. I doubt that weakness has ever been listed as the cause of relationship troubles. What is it?
You may be thinking, “Wait, aren’t routines good?” Of course they can be! Routines help us menu plan, clean our home, and keep our vehicles in good repair. Routines help our kids sleep through the night (sometimes) and enable us to establish memorable traditions.
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24
Last month we discussed how two become one in marriage and how that union represents the body of Christ. Becoming more unified will not happen if we are on auto-pilot. We can utilize routines like tools, but not as a substitute for decisiveness. Even date night can become routine if we do the same thing we’ve always done. We can only we increase the unity within our marriage by being intentional about our time together.
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” ~ Proverbs 21:9
Time together with your spouse is about more than Date Nights.
I hope you never have to spend a year apart from your spouse. When we faced that challenge as a military couple, we learned a lot about each other. Among the many lessons, I realized that I wanted to be more adventurous and intentional about the time I spent with my husband.
Just a few of the adventures we’ve taken in the ten years since then?
- learned and taught basic rock climbing
- taken dozens of daytrips on the motorcycles my husband has purchased
- trained together for my first 5K with a boot camp class at our local gym
These activities have been about a lot more than new hobbies.
In rock climbing, I learned to let go of control and hand it over to my husband. In training for better health, I learned I have much better emotional management when I work out consistently. Our day trips help us discover new things about each other as the sights prompt conversations about our past and our future dreams.