Making your Long Distance Relationship a bit more “normal”

By David & Angie Benjamin, Contributing Writers

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Long distance relationships are a lot of hard-work. As if that is not hard enough, let the LDR be between people of different cultural and social backgrounds, then you’re in for a rough ride.

Despite all the difficulty associated with LDRS, they seem to be growing increasingly common nowadays. This is probably because of the fact that technological advancement has turned the world into a global village making communication and travel from one end of the world to the other easier and perhaps cheaper than ever before.

We were in a LDR for a bit more than 4 years (He was in England and then Botswana and I was in Mexico, and we only manage to meet three times before getting married). ‘So how did you make it?’ One may wonder. It is only fair and appropriate to make it clear than on our own, we would not have made it. We are where we are today because God who kept us and saw us through.

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Like we said earlier on, an LDR is a tough ride. There are many times you want to give up. There are many times you wonder if it’s after all worth it. You ask yourself if you really have to go through all the pain and loneliness. The pain of loving someone so so much, but you cannot be with them. It’s so frustrating.

You dream, and hope that the time will come when you’ll be together. To top it off, all these happens in the midst of discouragements from people and being branded a foolish dreamer.

We did mention that we only survived because God was and is still is on our side. So practically, what do you do to survive? We’ve put together tips that we feel helped us traverse this hard yet exciting journey:

1. Commit your relationship to God. Most importantly, seek his guidance and purpose for it. When God is on board, the ship cannot sink :)
2. Surround yourself with Godly, like minded people. People who know you, who believe in you and encourages you when you feel down (you’ll be down so many times, as we said, it’s a bumpy ride). You don’t need people who believe in “ordinary” “wordly” relationships to give you their opinion on your “crazy foolish” kind of relationship.
3. Learn to share your emotions and feelings openly and clearly.
Do not be afraid to communicate what you really need and want from your partner, they deserve to know the truth and make a decision on whether they can meet your expectations or not.
4. Make the relationship a high priority. Avoid canceling appointments or putting off a phone call..but this point also takes us to the next one:
5. Be prepared to be flexible. Don’t be possessive. Being paranoid and accusing each other of wrong-doing will only fuel doubts, insecurity and tension. Flexibility and Patience are key in LDR.
6. Let your mate know how much you think about and love them. Make them miss you more and you’ll fill them with the constant urge to see you.
7. Spend the time “together” getting to know each other better. Make use of the technology. There are so many questionnaires (Christian ones) that will help you to build your relationship. Discuss important issues, use the “little” time wisely. Pray together.

Have you ever been in a Long Distance Relationship? For how long? How did you cope?