Keeping the Passion Alive

By Jolene Engle, Contributing Writer

It’s not always easy to keep the passion alive in marriage.  Over time, the newness of our relationship wears off.  Life becomes mundane.  We succumb to our busy schedules and get caught up with other pursuits.  These things can easily snuff out the passion we once had for each other, and thus, cause our marital relationship to wane.

Keeping the Passion Alive

Maybe you can relate to this wife’s situation…

I am trying very hard to always be respectful of my husband. But, there is one area in our marriage that is always, always, always lacking! I have absolutely no libido or desire for sex. My marriage is becoming platonic. I do not feel any type of physical desire at all! (And, this is not because my husband isn’t handsome or loving or anything like that) What is wrong with me?  How do I change this?  What do I do??


In my video, I share why a wife with this scenario no longer sexually desires her husband.  I give 3 different reasons:

1.  Physiological

2.  Mental

3.  It’s all her husband’s fault!  You’ll have to watch the video to see what I mean by this one. :)

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If you can’t view the video in your feed reader, you can watch it here.

Keep in mind that the Enemy does NOT want you to be intentional about your sex life.  He would love for you to just throw your hands up and say, “Why bother fixing this problem?  I don’t think sex is that great anyways.”  In fact, he would love for your marriage to become platonic.  But that’s not how God intended your marriage to be because sex is explicitly designed for marriage and no other relationship.

But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.  1 Cor. 7:9

Making love brings a closeness and intimacy that every marriage needs.  It causes your relationship to thrive and it protects it from temptation.

But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.  The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.  1 Cor. 7:2,3

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  1 Cor. 7:5


Sex can be a complicated issue for a wife.  There can be a host of other reasons why she doesn’t want to be intimate with her husband.  Here’s a list of 20 of them!

And if sex is painful for you, then read this post.

Having trouble with your perspective regarding sex in marriage?  Check this post out.


  1. Any ideas why my husband doesn’t want intimacy?

  2. Lucia,
    There can be a host of reasons ranging from low testosterone, certain medications can cause this problem, he’s stressed out, financial concerns, he has a lower drive than his wife (yes, there is such a thing as a wife having a higher sex-drive than her husband!) and of course, if he’s into porn. But there’s more reasons than this. I wrote a post about this awhile back. You can read it here:

  3. Thx! I needed advice on this too!

  4. Would love to hear from some other wives like me, where the lack of libido comes from the HUSBAND. He’s a recoving porn addict but admits to never having a desire for sex. tried of having to beg for it and feeling like it’s my fault.


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