Die to Self Daily – Live for Christ

This week we are focusing on what it means to live a Christ Centered Marriage that is focused on Glorifying God! Read more about this mini-series HERE.

An essential ingredient to a successful, God-glorifying marriage is learning the discipline of selflessness! Why? Because God commands it! Here are some practical tips for living it out!

The goal of most Christians in marriage is to love their spouse, bring glory to God and have a Christ centered marriage. But this can be difficult sometimes amidst sin, pain, and the worries of this world. So all week long we will be talking about what it means to live a Christ Centered Marriage.

To even begin thinking about living a Christ Centered Marriage, we have to realize that this first starts with being selfless. Indeed, God makes it plain in His scripture that in order to be Christ followers, we must first die to self and live for Christ. God is integral to your marriage.

Learn to be Selfless

If we want to follow Christ, then that means laying down our own lives and living for Him.

“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” ~ Luke 9:23


We no long live for ourselves. Our lives, our passions, and our desires should now shift to those of Christ.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” ~ Galatians 2:20


Making Our Marriage Better – Living It Out

So what does this mean in marriage? God calls us to be selfless and follow Him. How do we follow Him? By obeying His Word and living out what he commands. Here is what He commands in Scripture:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.


Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” ~ Ephesians 5: 22-30


Wives, we are to submit to our husbands the same way we submit to the Lord. We are to lay down our own selfish desires to better serve our husbands. And do you know why this works so beautifully within a loving and committed marriage? Because,

Husbands are commanded to love their wives like Christ loves the Church. Christ loved His Church so much that he went to a brutal and physical death for her.  Husbands are commanded to love their wives this much. {But sadly, we know that husbands don’t always lead like they should}

Photo by donjd2

So when submission is lived out on the wife’s part, and the husband loves her like he should, then both are acting in mutual selflessness. And this works beautifully in marriage.

Neither partner needs to feel like they have to fight for their own self interest. They can relax knowing that the other is looking out for them.

The type of love that Scripture commands and should be lived out is sacrificial love.

Sacrifice your own desires and interests for your spouse on a daily basis, and you will truly be living out a Christ Centered Biblical Marriage. And when your spouse is doing the same, then your needs will be met and your marriage will flourish. It may takes years  to get to that point, but ultimately if you are making selfless decisions on a daily basis, then God will be glorified in your marriage and in your life.

This post is part of 5 Days of Intentionally Living! A mini-series that runs all week long brought to you by 16 bloggers. That’s over 80 posts on living intentionally. Come back the rest of the week for more Christ Centered Marriage posts!

Our Christian Marriages should be firmly rooted in the Word of God. But it can be hard to know how to do that or what that should look like. Join us as we explore what a Christ-centered, God-glorifying Marriage should look like! {Plus many practical tips}

*While we support this series, we have not read through everything on all of the previous blogs and thus cannot say for sure if we agree with everything written on these blogs.*


 How to follow along

Follow ABM via Email to daily get our posts right to your mailbox so you never miss a post again {plus get a FREE eBook “Glorifying God in your Finances” when you follow} –> Follow Via Email


Follow ABM via Facebook to get daily updates about our posts, excellent questions and discussions, and other marriage resources that we only share on Facebook {including a set of FREE scripture memory cards!} –> Follow via Facebook 


Follow ABM via Pinterest. We have a fabulous Pinterest board with pins from our fabulous team of writers. Find AMB posts and other great resources for marriage on our A Biblical Marriage Pinterest Board!


  1. Thank you for the wonderful series on a Christ Center Marriage. I have a question on re-marriage w/children though..I understand for the wife to submit to her husband, which puts things in perspective for the marriage. If you have been remarried and have older children (early teen to late teen) how is discipline handled? Especially since my husband came from a very strict and harsh family (he and his siblings could do nothing right, they were belittled, was beat by their dad, saw their dad beat on their mom, etc.) My husband has some of the same tendencies (very hard, strict, no complimenting when things are done good or right, picks out the things they do wrong), it makes it VERY hard to let him lead my children and as a mom I want to protect. They are very good children, but not perfect mind you. He says I am not respecting him when I don’t let him parent them. Any ideas? Thank you guys so much and blessings to you and the ministry you are doing for our Lord.

  2. Oh Lord Jesus! Dear sister, sorry to hear about your struggle, I know it must be hard. I had a very similar dad who sound just like that, except thank the Lord he didn’t put a negative hand on my mom. Our husband’s are our head and we can only pray that they are headed up by our precious Lord. We all have our things and areas that need to be worked on an can only open to the Lord regarding these. As those wives who love the Lord, we can fellowship with our husbands, trust the Lord is working on them and submit to them as the word says. The Lord blesses the ‘oneness’ among couple and family. Be one with your husband and be the loving wife and mother. Your meekness and gentleness, by faith, will be a testimony to your husband. Even pray that he would see the Lord through your actions and words. May the Lord cover your marriage and be the one heading each on of you!

  3. Hallelujah sister Jami for this post, very encouraging! I was just enjoying those verses in Ephesians, my fave book in the bible! Lord, be the one who is the center in our marriages. I recently was married last year and have definitely been learning tons throughout all this time. I give the glory to God for all his shepherding and care! Lord, keep ministering to us day by day.

  4. Thank you Viridiana! And Praise the Lord that as newlyweds you are seeking God together! What a wonderful blessing :)


  1. […] we discussed one of the first keys to living out a Biblical, Christ Centered Marriage: Selflessness! It’s so important to learn how to daily die to self and live for […]