By Shari Miller, Contributing Writer
Walking down the aisle twenty years ago, to meet the man of my dreams, I had some pretty high ideals of what our life together would be like. I expected a marriage with no problems, a white house with a picket fence, a couple of children, with my knight in shining armor standing right beside me, ready and able to save the day. I expected the type of marriage that I had read about in fairy tales and seen in the movies, one where nothing bad ever happened, and where arguments were few and far between. I thought my husband would be perfect, able to know my thoughts before I did and be able to take care of me in the way I thought I deserved. Poor guy…..he didn’t stand a chance with the unrealistic expectations that I put on him.
One day many years ago, when my husband and I were having a disagreement he looked at me and said, “I am not perfect, I am just a man.” It’s as if the Lord whispered in my ear and said, “Dear Wife, Your husband is not Superman. He can not leap tall buildings in a single bound. He does not have magic powers to read your thoughts. He can not save your world from all its problems. You are getting my design for marriage backwards. Your husband is not their to serve you. Your role is to be help, love and support your husband.”
“For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” ~ 1 Corinthians 11:8-9 (NIV)
The problem was not with my husband…the problem was with my way of thinking. I wanted my husband to be my all, when in reality Christ is the only one who should have been my all. It was a wake up call for me to realize that my thought process had to change from the world’s way of thinking to God’s way of thinking.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” ~ Romans 12:2 (NIV)
In accepting and acting upon my role as wife, not only was I serving my husband, but I was also serving the Lord. I was relaxing and letting go of what I thought should be and starting to embrace and enjoy what was. Instead of complaining and being critical about my marriage not matching the tales of old, worn out, story books, I had a change of attitude and decided to be thankful for the story that the Lord had already written on my heart.
When I came to the realization that marriage was not a one-sided adventure, but rather a partnership in the Lord, God’s joy began to fill my weary soul, “the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b (NIV)
Wives, what visions and dreams do you have for your marriage? Are they aligned with the will of the Lord? With your husband, seek guidance in prayer and reading the Lord’s word, remember that God’s ways are always better than our own.